


Gray Areas

by marchtwentyfour



Category: GOT7
Genre: M/M, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-26
Updated: 2016-10-26
Packaged: 2018-08-27 04:36:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8387431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marchtwentyfour/pseuds/marchtwentyfour
Summary: Im Jaebum lived in a world where Soulmates are a part of who you are as a person.
Until the age of 14, a person would stop aging and they would remain 14 for the rest of their life--unless they meet their Soulmate. And until you meet yours, until you stay with your Soulmate, you won’t age. You’ll keep being 14 years old for the rest of your life.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [myturntocry](https://archiveofourown.org/users/myturntocry/gifts).



> hey hey hey this was an unfinished fic i've been keeping for months now. unbeta'd and dedicated to my best friend ONE DOWN AND MANY MORE FICS I OWE YOU TO GO

When Jaebum was young, all he cared about was playing around and climbing the heighest slide in the neighbourhood playground. He didn’t care if he had scrapes or bruises, if his clothes got dirty or torn. All Im Jaebum cared about is that he gets to the heighest and be the tallest.

Because in a 7 year old’s mind, being taller than everyone else gives him the right to boss people around. He thought that he could tell that snotty 9 year old from across the street to stop teasing Mark hyung. Then he thought he could tell the girl from down the road to stop giggling around Mark hyung too.

“They need their own best friend, Mom!” Jaebum answered petulantly when he picked up his chopsticks, his Mom questioning him  _ why  _ he keeps on insisting to go to that playground when the Tuan’s have a perfectly working slide on their backyard.

“Stop being selfish, Jaebum-ah. Mark is allowed to have other friends.” His Mom chastisised him. “You can’t own Mark, at least, we won’t know yet.”

Being a 7 year old, Jaebum didn’t understand what his Mom meant (or that he cared at all). He eagerly finished his breakfast, thanked his Mom for the meal and then he was running across the yard beside them to knock on the door.

Mark Tuan was a 8 year old from America, they moved here two years ago and he and Jaebum had been best friends ever since. Mark was all limbs and lanky, thin and taller than Jaebum. He had a toothy grin that had Jaebum proclaiming they would be best friends the moment the other boy introduced himself.

When no one answered immediately, Jaebum screamed, “MARK HYUNG! YOU SAID WE’LL GO PLAY TODAY!” After a second, the door opened with Mark carrying a plate of freshly baked brownies.

“Mom baked brownies. Can we eat them first?” Mark asked, eyes bright.

Jaebum looked at the brownies then at Mark’s hopeful eyes. “Okay!” The slide can wait for a few more minutes, he decides as he enters the open door and followed after Mark’s footsteps.

 

When Jaebum was 10 and Mark was 11, they used to bike around the neighbourhood in their matching blue and pink bikes. Mark had taken the pink one, told Jaebum he doesn’t mind that pink was for  _ girls  _ since he doesn’t believe in that rubbish.

Jaebum would always climb on his bike earlier, turning to give Mark a smile that only meant trouble. “Race you to the Lonely Hut, hyung?” And before Mark could agree (or disagree, but it’s not like he ever did), Jaebum would already be racing through the desserted street with Mark climbing up on his own bike to catch up.

The Lonely Hut wasn’t lonely nor was it a hut. In fact it was a huge house with a gate and a wide lawn in front. There’s always music blasting off from the inside during Friday nights, a sign that there’s a party as if the numerous College looking kids dancing on the lawn wasn’t clue enough. But everyone in the neighbourhood calls it The Lonely Hut.

“Why do you think it’s called The Lonely Hut?” Jaebum asked Mark, the both of them lying down on the empty lot in front of the big house. He won again, which wasn’t something new considering that he cheated.

Mark hummed beside him. “I heard from the ahjummas the other day, actually. They were gossiping really loudly while I went to buy milk for Mom.”

Jaebum waited for Mark to continue but when he didn’t, he reached over and smacked the older boy’s arm. Mark didn’t even flinch, just laughed that loud roaring and Jaebum can imagine his mouth open.

“The lady who lives there…” Mark trailed off, “She still hasn’t found her Soulmate.”

 

Im Jaebum lived in a world where Soulmates are a part of who you are as a person.

Until the age of 14, a person would stop aging and they would remain 14 for the rest of their life--unless they meet their Soulmate. And until you meet yours, until you stay with your Soulmate, you won’t age. You’ll keep being 14 years old for the rest of your life.

Some people say it’s a blessing, being young forever and immortal. Some people say it’s a curse, living without actually living and being in a state of forever without a reason.

Meeting your Soulmate, even when you had no idea they’re  _ yours _ , would let you age again. As long as the two of you are in close contact, the both of them would continue aging together. Some people go crazy because of this, finding out they’ve been aging and not knowing  _ who  _ it’s with. Was it the pizza delivery boy? Was it the man who passes by them everyday? Was it the person they sat with on the bus?  _ Who _ ?

Finding out who your Soulmate is, it’s all up to  _ you _ . There’s no written name, no fireworks and no person to help you out. 

People spent years finding out who their Soulmate is while others never find them at all. So meeting your Soulmate at the age of 14 was rate,  _ very very  _ rare.

 

When Mark turned 14 and Jaebum was 13, they were separated in school. Mark was placed on a special class for everyone that’s entering the part of their lives where they would need to find their Soulmate. A class, most probably, centering on  _ how  _ to find them.

“What do they even need to teach you 14 year olds?” Jaebum grumbled, picking on the bibimbap his Mom made for him and taking off the cucumbers to place on Mark’s plate. “Everyone knows that there really is not enough knowledge out there for Soulmates.”

“You’ll be taking the class next year too, Jaebum-ah.” Mark reminded him, eating the cucumbers that Jaebum placed on his plate. “It’s not just about Soulmates, Jaebum-ah. There are other important things you need to learn about our world too.”

But Jaebum only snorted, the world has been existing for billion of years if not trillions and humanity had been living here for more than 2,000 years and yet no one had been able to solve the mystery of finding out who their Soulmate is.

 

“MOM! I’M HOME!” Jaebum screamed through the doorway, entering the hallway as he left his shoes. Usually his Mom would be greeting him with a smile and to chide him for skipping class  _ again _ . Because at 14 years old now, Jaebum calls bullshit on Soulmates and hasn’t gone to a single lesson. “Mom?”

But Jaebum doesn’t find his Mom at home, instead he gets a call from the hospital just a few minutes later to tell him that his Mom is in the Emergency Room. With the dread running in his veins, he grabbed his bike and pedalled his way to the hospital.

At age 14 Im Jaebum lost his Mom to a car accident, it was fatal and although she didn’t immediately die, she was by the time that Jaebum had found her on the hospital bed. Tearing up and crying his heart out, he falls on the floor as he clutches on her lifeless hands.

 

Jaebum never understood why his Dad went missing after his Mom died, never understood why the police seemed to know who hit his Mom. He never asked, never questioned and never got an answer because Jaebum was quite sure he couldn’t take it if he knew the answer.

“Are you sure you’re feeling better?” Mark asked, helping Jaebum move his things to the Tuan’s spare room. He gave his best friend the most worried look, eyebrows furrowed and lip trapped between his teeth.

Jaebum feels guilty he’s making Mark worry when he’s already burdening him by having to move in. He had no relative in his Mom’s side of the family and the police was also determined not to let anyone from his Dad’s side of the family take him. Even though he was confused, he never questioned this because he wasn’t particularly in good terms with them. 

“You know you can talk to me, right?” Mark offered one last time before patting Jaebum’s shoulders and then leaving the room, closing the door behind him.

That night, Jaebum curled around himself and cried until he fell asleep.

 

It was when Jaebum was 16 and Mark was 17, both of them in High School, that Jaebum finds out the truth about his parents.

“That’s 11,900 won, ma’am.” Jaebum tells the lady with a smile, bagging her drink and candy in a paper bag to hand over as he takes the money. He rings the money and gives back her change before wishing her a good day to serve the next one.

Two years after Jaebum’s Mom dying and two years after Jaebum had moved to stay with the Tuans, nothing much had changed. He’s still occupying their spare room, now his. He still hasn’t seen his Dad and he still doesn’t know why. The only difference, probably, is that now he’s so close to being a College student, he had started taking part-time jobs.

“We can pay for your tuition, dear.” Mrs. Tuan told him, but he refused. He couldn’t do that, he couldn’t rely on them forever. They already provide a roof over his head, feed him and made him feel cared for, burdening them with College tuition fee is the least he could do.

“Jaebum, you know my parents wouldn’t mind paying for College right?” Mark had immediately asked the moment he found out about Jaebum’s decision, worry sketched and painted on his plane as day. “You’re already busy with school and you can’t just add part-time jobs, it probably wouldn’t be enough to only take one!”

But Jaebum never relented, never gave in and never changed his mind. He applied to places and got the hardest jobs, the one where he worked for hours standing up and carrying heavy materials just to earn a few thousand won by the end. Then he took another one and another one and another one, until Jaebum had four part-time jobs, four hours of sleep and nearly zero hour of rest.

And it’s okay. It’s okay. Jaebum will be fine.

“That’s 124,600 won, ma’am.” Jaebum bagged the other woman’s groceries, she was on the phone and was taking really long to take out her wallet with only one hand. So he waited, the bag of grocery still on one hand while waiting for her.

“Yes, I heard!” She exclaimed, almost dropping her phone as she clutched on her bag’s zipper. “Can you believe that? I told her she should’ve just done it first before he could and now look what happened!”

Jaebum waited patiently, trying his hardest not to stomp his feet on the floor. He smiled at the person behind the lady on the line, bowing his head slightly. Why isn’t the lady using earphones anyway? Hasn’t she heard of that?

She finally got her wallet out, now trying to take out the right amount to pay as she still clutched on her phone. “Well now she’s too late! Her Soulmate had beat the crap out of her and she’s the one in the hospital bed, isn’t she?!” She handed Jaebum more than the amount he needed and grabbed her groceries without waiting for her change and walking away. “Partially her fault for staying with her Soulmate, I would’ve killed him first if I were her!”

That’s when Jaebum froze and felt as if cold water was just doused on his head, rendering him immobile. The clogs on his brain working, turning and slowly understanding  _ what  _ he heard. And he wanted to jump off the counter and grab the lady, demand that she actually explain what she meant by  _ I would’ve killed him first if I were her _ . But before he did just that and maybe cost himself his job, the next one coughed and got his attention.

Later, it can wait until later when his brain doesn’t feel like it will explode.

 

Finding Mark wasn’t complicated, his best friend locked inside his own room when Jaebum got back. He didn’t even need to knock, just opening the door and jumping on the bed to wake Mark as it’s already 2:24AM.

“Mark, Mark hyung.” Jaebum shook his best friend awake and would’ve been amused by the confused look on his hyung’s face if not for the fact that he still feels like his stomach is tied in knots. “Hyung, I need to ask you something and I need you to be honest with me.”

Mark, whose mind was still fuzzy from sleep, nodded as he tried to sit up.

“Did my Dad kill my Mom?” Jaebum asked, voice shaking a little as he spit out the words that had been eating him up the whole night. When Mark didn’t answer immediately, eyes suddenly wide and awake, he got his answer. “He did, didn’t he?”

“How did you find out?” Mark finally spoke, voice still raspy from sleep but now he looked wide awake.

Jaebum shook his head, “How come  _ you  _ know and I don’t?”

“It’s taught in that class you never attended, Jaebum-ah. The one for Soulmates?” Mark tilted his head, “But I asked first. How did you find out?”

“I heard someone in the grocery talk about Soulmates, that the guy beat the living hell out of his Soulmate. And I know you grow old with your Soulmate, you know? But I also know I can’t hurt anyone else’s Soulmate…” Jaebum scratched his head, trying to form the right words but couldn’t. “I just put two and two together and… only a Soulmate can hurt their Soulmate?”

Mark was watching him, eyes trained on Jaebum’s shaking form as he reached out and grasped his hands. Jaebum didn’t even realize his hands were cold and shaking before Mark had evenloped them in his warm ones.

“Soulmates are the only ones that can hurt their own Soulmates which means they’re also the only ones that can kill them. Natural death is the only way we can die when we find our Soulmate, Jaebum-ah,” Mark smiled at him sadly, “So if they die because of an accident then it’s not an accident at all.”

Jaebum had been pondering on this thing for hours now, ever since he first heard the woman speak. But hearing it directly from Mark, directly from his best friend, confirmed it and made it real.

“It’s okay to cry, Jaebum-ah…” Mark reminded him.

And Jaebum weeped, cried and sobbed.

How could the world be so cruel? How could Soulmates either be the best thing that happened to you or could be the one to end your life?

How could his Dad kill his Mom?

Jaebum knew he would never find out, so he let himself wallow in misery. Mark let him, knowing Jaebum needed this.

 

Having a best friend that knew you so well could be a good thing, especially if you knew them just as well.

Jaebum had been wallowing in depression for the past few days, his mind always wandering to places he knew it shouldn’t. His parents were Soulmates, they’ve lived together as soon as they met and married each other a year after, both extremely happy with each other. Or at least, that’s what Jaebum had been told.

Happiness, Jaebum realized, was so overrated. He thought he knew what happiness meant, what it entailed. He thought happiness was just simple, the breakfast you loved being served or a Homework getting 100% or Mark grinning toothily at him from his seat before they start a mess. But was that really happiness?

His parents were happy, weren’t they? They sat together every night, eating dinner and talked about their day. And yet… Jaebum couldn’t help but feel frustrated as he tried to remember every detail, every gesture and every words exchange to see if there was anything  _ wrong _ . Yet, he couldn’t find any and he finds that the scariest thing of all.

Did his Dad just, one day ( _ that _ day), realize that he didn’t want to be with his wife anymore? Did he finally realize what power he held as her Soulmate? Then if that’s true, then what use are Soulmates anyway? And Jaebum…  _ if  _ he’ll ever find his Soulmate, would he be able to love them knowing that one day...

“Hey.” Mark walked over to Jaebum, tray of food in hand. “Still with me?”

Jaebum snorts, pretending as if his thoughts weren’t just on the way of destruction just a moment ago. “What do they have?” He peaked in the tray and raised his eyebrow.

“That’s supposed to be kimchi jjigae.” Mark said, placing the bowl in front of Jaebum.

“It’s not red or smell spicy.” Jaebum deadpanned, taking his spoon to scoop a mouthful of soup and tasted it. “Doesn’t even taste like it.”

“Did they even put Kimchi in this?” Mark takes his own spoon and tastes the soup before blanching. “This just tastes like water!”

Jaebum rolls his eyes. “What do you even expect? Can we please get something else?”

As if Mark was waiting just for that question, his toothy grin came into full force before looking around as if checking. Then he turned his focus on Jaebum. “How do you feel about skipping the last four classes, Jaebum-ah?”

 

That was how Mark and Jaebum ended up climbing the big tree by the fence and jumping down to the side walk, laughing because Mark almost toppled over. They dusted their pants andf high-fived before walking down the street, talking excitedly about their plans for that afternoon.

Amusement parks weren’t Jaebum’s thing, but Mark made it sound like the best time of their life  _ plus  _ it is weekday so there won’t be a lot of people. So after dropping by home and changing clothes, they take the bus to the amusement park.

“What should we do there?” Jaebum asked, hitting Mark’s shoulders when they slid on the seat in the bus. He laughed when Mark sent him a glare. “Come on.”

“Games?” Mark shrugged, taking the seat beside him. “See who can get the best prize from those shooting games?”

Well, that, Jaebum can do. “Loser has to buy the winner that huge ass cotton candy?”

“Deal.”

 

Mark had won, agreed upon when he got the Bart Simpsons cap that Jaebum had been eyeing for years but was a limited merchandise. It was funny, considering the cap wasn’t the jackpot, but Mark had chosen that to target instead of the grand prize that has the owner wondering. But he got it after the third try, grinning at Mark.

“Fine.” Jaebum pretends to sigh as he puts the Bart cap on, “Let’s go get your cotton candy, hyung.”

 

When Mark graduated a year ahead of Jaebum, they made a promise to go to the same College and live in the same apartment. For the first year Mark can stay in the dorm and when Jaebum goes there the next year, they can share an apartment and Mark’s parents would even love that.

“Don’t cause anymore problems for Ms. Song!” Mark reminded him, boquet of lowers in hand and his diploma in the other. Mark’s Dad in front of them with his camera and reminding them to smile properly.

“You won’t be here to find out, Mark hyung!” Jaebum reminded Mark (and himself). They smiled, arms around each other and the boquet tickling Jaebum’s cheeks where Mark has it pressing to him.

When the camera clicked, Mark and Jaebum were smiling so brightly with the backdrop of their High School behind them. It was a start of another part of their life.

 

Jaebum doesn’t tell Mark that he’ll miss him, his best friend. He doesn’t tell him that he only messes with Ms. Song because it makes Mark laugh so loud. He doesn’t tell him that he feels like Mark was leaving him too, because he also knew that wasn’t the case.

He only smiles at Mark, telling him not to have  _ too much  _ fun in College without him as they pack his things on the car. He only tells Mark he has a shift in the restaurant so he can’t come with him to check out his new dorm and send him away. He only stays rooted on the driveway and waved at the car that has Mark, half of his belongings and Mr. and Mrs. Tuan on.

When they get far enough to not see him properly, Jaebum walks away with his hand in his jeans.

 

Jaebum coming home in the wee hours in the morning was nothing new, especially since he had a lot of part-time jobs. However, ever since Mark had left for College, Jaebum was almost never home, just coming by to shower and change clothes before going to school and sleep during homeroom.

He knew it was a matter of time before Mark would get informed.

“Jaebum-ah, why did my parents tell me you haven’t come home in the past two weeks?” Mark asked, sounding drained and tired at the call. He must’ve just gotten back from class. “Jaebum? I know you’re there. I can hear you breathing.”

“That sounds creepy, hyung. How come you know the sound of me breathing?” Jaebum demanded, hoping they’ll drop the topic.

“Jaebum…” Mark sighed, “How many times have we slept on the same bed? Now, tell me why you’re not resting properly.”

And Jaebum knows that he looks tired, he knows he does. There’s bags under his eyes, his skin looks pale and he probably looked so unhealthy with how little he ate when he could. But he can’t help it, can’t do anything about it when everyone around him were doing so well and he isn’t.

They had parents, Soulmates who loves each other and are content to grow old together while his  _ own  _ were separated all because his Dad had killed his Mom.

They had friends who are just a few places away while Jaebum’s were all the way on the other side, a good 3 hour drive if he wanted to visit.

Jaebum feels so drained, so confused and so lost. It feels like he’s living a life that feels more of hell than not. He looked like hell too, he doesn’t even want to look a mirror because he doesn’t want to  _ see  _ how other people sees him.

“I’m sorry.” Jaebum only said, not wanting to explain himself. What if Mark had found his Soulmate in College? “I’ll try to stay at your home more. I promise.”

“Jaebum, it’s not just my home it’s also--”  _ Mark! You promised to come with us at that party!  _ “Oh yeah, guys just a sec--wait, Jaebum, I just need to--”

“It’s okay, hyung. Go to your party, I’ll be fine.” Jaebum hung up, sliding the phone in his pocket and feeling it vibrating again which is probably a call from Mark. He ignores it and the next 5 calls that followed as he continued on his job, unpacking the products and placing them carefully on the shelves.

Mark was already moving away from him, slowly and soon he wouldn’t even care if Jaebum didn’t get into the same College or that they’re moving in one apartment. And the thought of that, the thought of Mark forgetting about him…

Jaebum chucked the application for Mark’s College on the trash.

 

Mark called.

Jaebum doesn’t answer.

Mark’s parents ask if he’s okay because Mark was worried.

Jaebum smiles and assures them he is.

They don’t believe him.

 

It was when Jaebum was 18 and Mark was 19, the result of College Applications were posted. Jaebum had passed on both Colleges he applied for, both Colleges were neither of Mark’s and he was pleased.

When Jaebum graduated, Mark wasn’t there because they had an emergency presentation for a class that he couldn’t get out of. It doesn’t even make Jaebum’s heart hurt anymore, as if he had long accepted the truth. But he still smiles for Mr. and Mrs. Tuan, thanking them for letting him graduate.

He doesn’t tell them he was planning on leaving that night, moving to his new dorm  _ far  _ away because what was the point of doing that? And he couldn’t risk Mark knowing yet., he would soon because he was coming tomorrow. So Jaebum has to make his move tonight, when the Tuans are going out for dinner with one of their friends.

_ It’s going to be okay, Jaebum. It’s going to be okay. _

 

When the Tuans had expressed their apologies about the previous commitment, they promised Jaebum they’ll go out for dinner the next day when Mark comes back. A proper celebration, they told him and Jaebum just nodded his head and smiled without promising something back. He wouldn’t be here by then and he didn’t want to make promises he wouldn’t keep.

After he closed the door for them, he turned around and leaned on the door with the blood pounding to his head. He took one deep breathe before pushing himself up, clutching on his jeans.

“Cannot back out now.” Jaebum reminds himself quietly, as if someone can hear him in the defeaning silence of a big house. So he walks to his room, slowly committing to memory the whole place. It’s not that he hated it, he just didn’t think he belonged here and he knew he never will.

Gathering all his things didn’t take a long time. He already had his clothes packed, all he needed to do was to also include the few belongings he accumulated during his stay here like the picture frame that housed Mark’s graduation photo and the Bart Simpsons Mark won for him that one time, back in High School.

“Mark hyung…” Jaebum held back the tears gathering in his eyes, throwing the cap inside the box. It wasn’t like he could wear the cap anyway, it had become too small for his head after all these years. But he still kept it, no matter how much he pretends he does’t care.

Making sure everything was in order took less than an hour and soon, the room was bare. He took one last look at it, not quite the spare room he left but close enough. He grabbed his bag and one box that had all his belongings and thought it was sad, staying here and only having these things.

“It’s going to be okay.” Jaebum reminded himself, closing the door after making sure the letter he left on the desk wasn’t going to fly away. He walked down the stairs carefully and headed for the door, not interested to stay any longer.

But just as Jaebum was about to turn the knob, the door opened and almost hit him. Stepping back just in time, Jaebum almost dropped again because he saw Mark. Mark was standing there, hair now dyed blonde and taller than he was before he left. He still looked the same, but there was something different.

Something…

“You… you look older.” Jaebum managed to stutter out, taking in Mark’s appearance. “You found your Soulmate.”

It wasn’t a question, there wasn’t any question.

“So are you.” But Mark wasn’t interested in that, he closed the door and looked down at the bag and the box on Jaebum’s feet. “And where are you going with your things, Jaebum-ah? We have a dinner celebration tomorrow.”

Jaebum doesn’t understand where the anger was coming from. But he couldn’t help it. “You found your Soulmate!” He stepped back again, as if their distance was painful. “You found your Soulmate and you didn’t even  _ tell _ me?!”

“You’re leaving without telling us, aren’t you?” Mark’s voice was higher, as if he was trying not to get angry. He stayed on his spot by the door, almost as if he was making sure Jaebum wasn’t going to try and get past that. “You have no right to get mad at me!”

“Who cares about me leaving, hyung? WHO?!” Jaebum doesn’t understand. “Your Soulmate, hyung. Who is it?! Someone from College? Your roommate? WHO?”

This time Mark just smiles at him, lips pressed together in a tight line. “Doesn’t matter who, Jaebum. What matters is that you’re running away without telling anyone--without telling  _ me _ .”

“Not like you would care, hyung.” Jaebum took another step back, almost hitting the potted plant by the side. “It’s not like we could stay together being friends, now that you’ve found your Soulmate.”

Mark took one step, not too close, just enough for Jaebum to step back again. “How much have you grown in the past year, Jaebum-ah?” He asked, voice small. “Have you looked in the mirror lately?”

Jaebum narrowed his eyes at him. “Don’t change the subject! I haven’t found my Soulmate!”

Mark just shook his head, walking to the side where a cabinet held a lot of photo frames. He picked one, looking at it before handing it over to Jaebum. “This is us when we were kids. I was 15 and you were 14, I got a bike and we were alternating trying to learn it.”

Jaebum took the offered frame, making sure his hands doesn’t touch Mark’s. He looks at it, they looked so young back then, eyes bright as if there was nothing else in the world that mattered. The bike was in between them, each of them holding one handle and smiling so bright at the camera.

Looking up at Mark he said, “You’ve changed. You’re older now.”

Mark sighs. “And so are you.”

Not understand what he meant, Jaebum looked at the photo again. When had the last time he looked in a mirror again? “I don’t understand what you mean, hyung.” He looks up again, “I haven’t found my Soulmate yet.”

As if shot, Mark froze for a second before taking a mouthful of air and gesturing to the hallway mirror. “How about you look in the mirror, Jaebum-ah? Look in the mirror and tell me if that’s the face of 14 year old Im Jaebum from the photo.”

“I haven’t found my Soulmate yet, hyung! I would’ve known!” Jaebum screams. But he takes three more steps back to where the hallway mirror hung. “See! I haven’t--” his eyes fall on his face, thing and worn out. His face pale and his lips chapped. But that wasn’t the most worrying of all… because the last time Jaebum looked at the mirror, back when he was 15 years old, he barely reached the top and yet now…

Jaebum  _ looks  _ 18\. He looks older and there was no denying it. The face that was being reflected at him wasn’t the face of a 14 year old and he should know because he’s seen so many people look that way. People that haven’t found  _ their  _ Soulmate. They have no eye bags, their skin doesn’t look pale enough to be pasty. They don’t look like  _ this _ … sick.

Mark snapped him out of his thoughs, “Jaebum…” calling to him ever so softly.

“WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO ME?!” Jaebum yelled, voice seething in anger and confusion and… he took a step back, took a step away from Mark’s figure. “What did you do?! What kind of magic or fuckery did you do to that mirror?!”

Mark shook his head, not moving from his spot. “I did nothing, Jaebum-ah.”

“No.” Jaebum took another step back, his steps faltering and his knees shaking like he never knew it could. He was breaking into cold sweat. “You’re lying. You’re lying. You… No.”

“Jaebum…” Mark tries to take a step forward, a step closer to Jaebum but the other boy tensed so he stayed rooted on his spot. “Please listen to me.  _ Please _ .”

But Jaebum had taken another step back, the back of his hips hitting the table vase on the corner of the hallway. He’s afraid Mark was going to come close, going to come touch him and it would  _ burn _ . Becase there was no one else who can love you like your Soulmate could love you. And there was no one  _ else  _ who can hurt you like your Soulmate could, no one who could make you feel pain. “Don’t come near me,  _ don’t _ .” Jaebum whispers, hands seaking purchase on the table behind him as he clutch on it tightly.

But when had Mark ever listened to him? (A lot of times.) Mark took another step closer, leaving just about three steps between the two of them. His face was dark and swirling with emotions, things Jaebum hasn’t seen on the older boy.

“You’re not my fucking Soulmate. Not you.” Jaebum’s hand touches something cold, the surface of the vase freezing like his own hands. “You can’t be my Soulmate. It’s been years. I would’ve know.  _ You  _ would’ve known.”

“I did,” Mark answered, “I just never told you. You  _ are  _ my Soulmate, Jaebum.”

That angered Jaebum. “Fuck this shit. I am leaving and you can’t stop me.” He was about to take a step forward, to the side where he could pass by Mark so he could grab his things and run. He wasn’t ready for this, not ready to face the possibilty that Mark was his Soulmate. But Mark followed his move, blocking his way. “Get out!”

“I’m not going to let you.” Mark said, his resolve obvious with the way his eyes shone. “I don’t know what happened to you. I wish I knew and I wish I was here to have helped you through it. But I wasn’t then, I  _ am  _ here now. Tell me. Let me help you.”

“NO!” Jaebum can’t let that happen, can’t just take Mark as his Soulmate. He remembers his parents, how loving they were and sweet before his Dad had killed his Mom. He remembers the news he’s heard, of Soulmates killing the other to keep their youth and lives. He remembers everything he’s heard, of Soulmates bringing pain to the other. The love and happiness you could get from your Soulmate isn’t worth it if in the end they would just bring you nothing but pain and heart break.

In a second, a millisecond, in a flash, Jaebum saw rather than felt the vase on his hands. The next second it was crashing in front of him,  _ on  _ Mark. The crash of the ceramic on the older boy’s head, the bleeding that followed and the thump as Mark’s body hit the floor. It happened so sudden, so quick that Jaebum couldn’t react, couldn’t  _ say  _ anything and couldn’t  _ move _ .

Neither could Mark.

In the end, Jaebum was just like his Dad.


End file.
